Bad Guardians
Charles Dickens knew a thing or two about bad guardians.
Daniel Handler was rejected by many publishers for his dark tale about the Baudelaire orphans. The author of "A Series of Unfortunate Events", a series of thirteen children's books, would warn the readers to put the book down if they wish to avoid an unpleasant story. But curiosity often overpowers fear.
"And the only trophy they would win would be some sort of First Prize for Wretchedness," the unnamed narrator shrugged.
Some readers might feel good after reading the miserable lives of the Baudelaires. They might be sorry about themselves. They may also be rude, violent, and filthy like Carmelita Spats, one of the (school) girls that the siblings have the misfortune of meeting in Prufrock Preparatory School. There's hardly any difference between the Daniel Handler's books and Roald Dahl's novellas, but black is black.
Adults should know better
"A Series of Unfortunate Events" revolves around Count Olaf, a distant relative of the Bauderlaire children who becomes their nemesis throughout their young lives. A fire killed their parents, leaving them an enormous fortune. The vile, filthy count wants it all by himself. Not one guardian was better than Olaf, except Montgomery Montgomery.
This makes an entertaining series, even if some readers won't admit it. Many adults are too full of themselves, which the Bauderlaire kids would learn the hard way. Here are some of their guardians:
Mr. Poe. This banker broke the tragic news in the first chapter of "The Bad Beginning", putting him in charge of Violet, Klaus, and Sunny. He meant well, but his frequent coughing was the only thing the Bauderlaire children could be assured of. Maybe he was thinking about his work most of the time. He never gave the trio a benefit of a doubt. If not for good luck (and the children's wit), then Olaf might have his hands on the fortune by the end of the first book.
Josephine Anwhistle. She was a second cousin's sister-in-law, who only cared about good grammar. She had a (book) shelf on books on preposition, proper punctuation, and rules on sentence-verb agreement. She had many phobias, from telephones to real estate agents. This would prompt some readers to wonder why her home was located on the edge of a hill, overlooking Lake Lachrymose. They even questioned Mr. Poe's decision.
Sir. He was the owner of the Lucky Smells Lumbermill, located in Paltryville. (The narrator revealed a number of details, indicating a remote place.) The Bauderlaire didn't get to know his real name, as this was his way of giving orders to anyone. (And he liked it.) He also smoked a lot, his face often covered in cigar smoke. He promised protection of the orphans, but he didn't mention child labor. If you are against the exploitation of minors, then don't read "The Miserable Mill".
